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It supposedly strengthens our vaginal walls, supposedly burns lots of calories (really? Maybe in our 20s, when we were into stuff like Reverse Cowgirl, but …), and supposedly releases oxytocin, a hormone that makes us feel bonded. Still, supposedly, sex is (still) good for us. How many hundred ads have you seen lately for Cialis and Viagra? And it’s not just women who need help, either, with our needs for lube, hormone creams, a clean fridge, and the perfect number of glasses of wine beforehand.
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One friend, early 50s, who had a decent married sex life for 20-plus years, told me recently that peri-menopause had quashed her desire a 60-something friend described sex with her husband as “not quite as bad as root canal.” (Ha! Okay, though, not that funny.) The point is, keeping your sex life “healthy”-or, frankly, keeping one at all in a very long-term marriage-is actually not particularly natural. Many of the otherwise loving 50-plus couples I know-the few who have managed to stay together for decades, that is-don’t have tons of sex, and even among those who do, it can be problematic. If you put a penny in a jar for every time you have sex before you get married and remove a penny for every time after, you’ll never run out of pennies.Īctually, a lot of us. That’s a hefty chunk of mid-lifers contentedly watching Netflix in their flannels and face cream, right? Who knew? (Only 31 percent of these couples said they have sex several times a week.) Also-interestingly-even among the couples who said they were “extremely happy,” a quarter of them rarely or never had sex.
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Wife takes husband to gay sex club full#
A survey reported in AARP a few years ago showed that of 8,000 people aged 50 or older, a full third in relationships reported rarely or never having sex another almost-third-28 percent-said they do it only a couple of times a month, and eight percent once a month. (Read about this arrangement here, originally from my book The Bitch is Back and reprinted in NextTribe.) But that practice might apply more widely to younger couples. And a once-a-week, scheduled-sex agreement post marriage-and-kids isn’t unusual or wrong, especially when he wants it constantly and she feels constantly pressured. The point is, sexual disparity in a couple is common, and usually, though not always, it’s the man who wants more. He says, “Hardly ever maybe three times a week.” She says, “ Constantly! I’d say three times a week.” And then there’s the well-ish known, if controversial, concept of “lesbian bed death”: the idea that long-term lesbian couples have the least sex of any type of couple, ostensibly because women have less sexual desire than men.
Wife takes husband to gay sex club movie#
How This Couple Saved A Lustless Marriage Dear SOI:Īs the joke goes, “If you put a penny in a jar for every time you have sex before you get married and remove a penny for every time after, you’ll never run out of pennies.” Or recall the famous lines from the movie Annie Hall : The therapists ask both halves of a couple how often they have sex. Read More: When One Wants Sex and the Other Doesn’t. TIME.ĭo I continue to close my eyes and endure that 30 minutes once a week to enjoy the other 99 percent of my life? He does not take testosterone or engage in porn he just wants sex with me. If I bring it up, he immediately says that if we don’t have sex, we should divorce. The thing is, other than sex, I love spending time with my husband we get along well and enjoy each other’s company. (I had no family support, no money, a lack of self-esteem, and young children.) But I’m now 60, with some physical issues starting to crop up. Finally, several years ago, I decided to keep the relationship and family intact by agreeing to sex once a week. We went to therapy, but that didn’t help. At first I was a willing participant, but after years of his moping, cajoling, screaming, and disrespect, I lost interest. I love my husband, but when it comes to sex, he has been, and still is, a 14-year-old boy. Yesterday, we published the third most-read story. Our Answer Queen, Cathi Hanauer, offers a smart, compassionate contemplation of the role of sex within a marriage and what spouses should and shouldn’t be willing to do for each other. This story came in second, with 383,000 readers. Editor’s Note: As we mark our Fifth Anniversary, we went back to look at our most-read stories since we launched in February 2017.